


We Ain't Ever Getting Older

by SallyWhite92



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: BROT3, Bar Hopping, Crack, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, this is just pure crack, trio stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 01:18:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8183360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SallyWhite92/pseuds/SallyWhite92
Summary: Gideon Grey has come into town and it's up to Judy and Nick to show him a good time in the city. Which includes bar hopping. And drunk shenanigans. Oh, to be young again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> there is no excuse for this, just none at all. but I was talking about this with alandcapon on tumblr and well I decided it needed to exist so I wrote it. and it's completely ridiculous. but it was so much fun to write. also this fandom needs way more stuff of these three being a trio like wtf gimme my brot3!

“What do you mean, you lost them? How do you lose a big fox and a loud bunny?”  
  
Nick winced as Finnick yelled from the other line, holding his phone away from his ear just a bit. As small as the fennec was, he sure could be loud sometimes. Plus, those were his friends they were talking about. Not cool man. “Look, I went to the bathroom and was gone for like a minute and when I came back they were gone.”  
  
“Did they sneak off to find a place to f—”  
  
“Really don’t need that image in my head, thanks, bud.” He sighed rubbed the back of his head, glaring out at the busy street. He was so not drunk enough for this. “I don’t know where they are, the last time Judy was this drunk with Gid, he had to call me to come and get them. Now I’m calling you. So do me a solid and come pick me up, okay? I’m outside of Lloyd and Hairy’s, on main.”  
  
Silence. Then an aggravated sigh. “Fine. But you owe me.”  
  
“Thanks, pal.” He hung up and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes as the headache from the loud music in the club crept up the side of his skull. He huffed and shoved his paws into his pockets, opening his eyes to glare up at the night sky.  
  
Really, this was all his fault. He should have known better than to go along with Judy when she suggested this.

* * *

“Soooooo Gideon is coming up this weekend.”  
  
“Oh yeah? That’s nice. You two gonna get a hotel or something? OW! Okay, okay, sorry, geesh.”  
  
“Jerk.” The bunny huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, turning away from him towards her desk. Things had been slow at work that day, leaving them with only paperwork to try to fill up their time with. Which meant that they were restless. And bored.  
  
Nothing good ever happened when they were bored.  
  
Nick looked over his shoulder at his partner, who was still pouting in front of her computer. He smirked and rolled his chair over to her, leaning back on her desk. “C’mon, you know you aren’t really mad.”  
  
“Yes, I am.”  
  
“No, you’re not~”  
  
“Yes, I am. I don’t appreciate the teasing, Nick.”  
  
“It’s part of what makes me so charming.”  
  
“You mean annoying.”  
  
“Potato, potahto.” He waved a paw before grinning at her. “Now, why don’t you tell me what big plans you’re coming up with for your boyfriend when he gets here.”  
  
“Not my boyfriend.” But he didn’t miss the way the insides of her ears turned pink. He didn’t comment on it, though, he didn’t want to get hit again. And it really wasn’t worth pressing the issue.  
  
“Whatever. What are your plans?”  
  
“Welllll.” The bunny wrung her paws in her lap, avoiding eye contact with him. Uh oh. That was never a good sign. “I was thinking…well, I mean, I’ve already talked with Gid about it and he agreed with me…that it would be nice if you would join us for some bar hopping. We can take him to the best places in the city.”  
  
“Bar hopping?” Oh no. Not this again. “Judy, you remember what happened the last time we tried this—”  
  
“I thought we agreed to never talk about it again.”  
  
“I woke up in your apartment without you, to Gideon calling me frantically because you’d gotten in a fight at the bar—”  
  
“This isn’t not talking about it—”  
  
“You tried to take on a bear!”  
  
“I took down a rhino at the academy.”  
  
“I had to bail you out of the drunk tank.”  
  
She turned to him with an annoyed expression on her face, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Look, that was one time, okay? How was I supposed to know that someone spiked my drink with tequila?”  
  
“By smelling it. Tequila has a very strong smell, Carrots, kind of hard to miss.”  
  
“My nose isn’t as good as yours.” She huffed, crossing her arms once more. “Look, I’ll be more careful this time, alright? I’ll even let you sniff all of my drinks if it’ll make you feel better.”  
  
“Do I have to come with you? Don’t you want some alone time with lover boy?”  
  
She did punch him this time, making him wince and rub his shoulder. “I keep telling you, it’s not like that. He’s just a friend. And Gideon looks up to you, sees you as, like, the older brother he never had.”  
  
“Or wanted.” The country fox was a sweet mammal, really, and as much as he teased her Nick was glad that Judy had a friend other than him to talk to. Just nights with them tended to get either a little weird or a little awkward, depending on what they were drinking or where they were.  
  
_Which is why I probably shouldn’t leave them alone. God damn it._ Nick and leaned back against the desk, folding his paws behind his head. “Fine, I’ll go with you guys. But if you make me go back to that country club I’m going home.”  
  
“Oh come on, you had fun the last time we were there.”  
  
“That coyote was totally trying to come onto me, Carrots!”  
  
“He was just being friendly.”  
  
The fox gave her an incredulous look. “You know, sometimes it’s amazing just how oblivious you are.” Poor Gideon.  
  
She sputtered and glared at him, slamming her paws onto her desk. “What the hell is that supposed to mean??”  
  
“Nothing, nothing.” He sighed and pushed off the desk, scooting his chair over to his own desk. “I’ll go bar hopping with you guys, whatever. Someone has to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”  
  
He heard her hop off her chair and waited as she padded over to him. He felt her arms wrap around him from behind and had to hold back a smile. “Thank you, partner~ And I promise, no country clubs this time.”  
  
“I’ll hold you to that.”

* * *

They picked up Gideon Grey from the train station the next day, Friday. The country fox always only came with one suitcase and a straw hat perched on his head. As if he didn’t stick out like a sore thumb anyways.   
  
Nick shook his head as Judy ran to the other fox, who dropped his suitcase to grab her up in a tight hug, the two laughing with glee. It was heart-warming, really, seeing those two silly country bumpkins reunite. He was sure at one point he would have been jealous, but he knew that he would always be an important part of Judy’s life and for him, that was enough.  
  
He waited until they were separated to go over, reaching out to shake Gideon’s hand before the shorter fox got any ideas about hugging him. He didn’t do hugs. “Hey, red, good to see you.”  
  
“Heya, Nick, real good ta see ya too.” Blues eyes were shining as he was looked up at, a huge grin on the heavier fox’s face. “Judy said you’ll be joinin’ us tonight, is that right?”  
  
“Yep. Someone has to keep Carrots here out of trouble.” Nick reached down to ruffle the fur on Judy’s head, making the bunny sputter and slap his paw away as she tried to fix her fur. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gideon staring at her with soft eyes, lips turned up in a warm smile. He sighed and shook his head. Poor sap didn’t stand a chance.

* * *

They got Gideon settled at Nick’s place—he had guest room in his apartment and Judy’s place was WAY too small for him to be staying in, not to mention even mentioning the idea had the bigger fox sputtering and his ears turning redder than his fur—and within a few hours they were all ready to go out. Nick had on his nicest Pawaiian shirt while Gideon had actually packed a nice button up for once, he was quite impressed.  
  
But the best part of it all was when Judy came out in a little tight black number that made Gideon’s jaw nearly drop to the floor and it took everything in Nick to keep from howling with laughter.  
  
_Oh you poor poor sap, you don’t stand a chance._  
  
The first bar they go to is a little one that he discovered back during his days of hustling, one with cheap alcohol and good company. It’s a little hole in the wall that you have to be told about to be able to find it, tucked away between bigger and more well-known bars. It’s quaint, it’s quiet, it’s his favorite place to go have a drink. Nick had brought more dates here than he could remember.  
  
But of course they couldn’t just stay there the whole night, oh no. Judy has a few drinks then starts getting restless, tapping her foot and glancing at her phone over and over. Nick knows that it’ll only be a matter of time before she suggests they go somewhere else and then he’ll be out-numbered because Gideon always goes with whatever she wants to do.  
  
Really, they are both just so clueless.  
  
So they end up going to Llamalyns, a higher-end dance club that serves really good drinks—good meaning there was more alcohol than whatever they were trying to mix it with. The music is so loud you have to shout to be heard over it and the dance floor is always packed. But all of these reasons were why Judy loved it so much. It fit well with her personality, Nick thought. Always on the go, never stopping, running and racing and rushing through things as quickly as she could. It was no wonder poor Gideon could never seem to find a moment alone with her.  
  
Nick was half-way through his second glass of rum and coke when Judy tried to drag him to the dance floor with her. She’d had about three glasses of some fruity drink with way too much alcohol in them, but none of them had smelled like tequila so he hadn’t stopped her from finishing them all. He refused to go with her, stating he didn’t dance—and he didn’t, she knew this, she had seen his terrible moves at the Gazelle concert. The bunny pouted at him before turning to Gideon.  
  
“You wanna dance? It’ll be fun~” She battered her eyelashes at the country fox and Nick could visibly see his defenses all come crashing down.   
  
The younger fox took in a deep breath before gulping down what was left in his glass and standing up. Judy squealed and grabbed his paw, dragging him out to the floor as Gideon looked at Nick with wide eyes. He only chuckled and nodded to him, trying to give him an encouraging smile.  
  
_Crazy kids._  
  
It was nice to see Judy loosening up, though. She tended to wind herself up so tight that Nick often worried about her getting too stressed out. But she always seemed to slow down whenever Gideon was with them. He stayed at the bar, finishing his drink and ordering himself another as he watched the two dance ridiculously with each other, both sticking out but also clearly having the time of their lives.  
  
Ah, to be young again.  
  
The two stayed out on the floor until the music started to slow down. Couples started to come together, pressed chest to chest and some even starting to mack on each other. Nick watched as Gideon seemed to stumble over his words a little before turning to Judy, gesturing a bit as she spoke. The bunny’s ears stood straight up and she swallowed before nodding, and the two came together to dance, slower this time, paws on hips and holding paws and eyes soft—  
  
Nick cleared his throat, turning away to face the bar. As much as he was thankful that something was finally happening, it felt rude and intruding to watch them during this tender moment.  
  
It really wasn’t something he wanted to see, either…it wasn’t any of his business.  
  
The song ended and he felt a soft paw tapping on his shoulder. He turned around to see his two friends, both with huge grins on their faces and their ears a lovely shade of red. Judy tugged at his sleeve. “You wanna get out of here? We can do Lloyd and Hairy’s next.”  
  
Oo, that place had really good food, and if they hurried they could get there before the kitchen closed. “Sounds like a plan.”  
  
So the trio left that bar and headed towards their next destination, and Nick didn’t miss how Gideon and Judy let their paws linger together just a few moments longer than necessary. The bunny skipped ahead of the two foxes as they walked down the side walk and he nudged the younger fox, wiggling his eyebrows at him. Gideon wrinkled his nose at him and gave him a shove which just made Nick laugh as he wrapped an arm around his friend’s neck.  
  
“Boy, you got it bad.”  
  
“Aw, shut it, pal.”  
  
They got to the bar and it was pretty packed, but they were seated fairly quickly and able to order right before the kitchen closed. Nick felt a little better about letting Judy drink more now she had a full stomach, and Gideon was starting to loosen up with the drink he had just ordered. They were just talking, having a good time. Everything was going great.  
  
And then it all went to shit.  
  
Nick had forgotten how obnoxious Gid could be when the heavier fox really got drunk. He laughed loud, he had no filter, and he was as boisterous as they came. And it was all fun and games for a while, with the fox just swinging an arm around Judy’s shoulders and telling stories about his family, how life was back in the burrows, how his partnership with Judy’s parents was going.   
  
The bunny herself got very giggly when she was drunk and her accent slipped out more. It was adorable, it really was, but her inhibitions also went way down and honestly by how much she was laughing at anything Gideon said that was even remotely funny Nick was surprised she hadn’t just crawled into his lap. Which she had done before. Many times.  
  
Everything was going fine until a very clearly drunk buck came up to their table, slurring and stumbling over his words as he tried to compliment Judy and failed as only crude things came out of his mouth. Nick saw Gideon’s top lip start to raise above his teeth and worried that he was going to try to start a fight.  
  
But Judy beat him to it. She drew back her slapped the buck across his muzzle, cursing him out before declaring loudly, “And you ain’t mah type, ya sleezy city slicker!” Then she huffed and turned away from him, leaning into Gideon’s side and wrapping her arms around the fox as she rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
Nick nearly choked when Gideon laughed and leaned down to smooch her cheek, very loud. “Y’all see this lady right ‘ere?? She’s the light of mah life, lemme tell ya!” The younger fox laughed and pulled the bunny into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. “I tell ya what, Nick, iffen she didn’t love it ‘ere so much, I’d’ve stolen ‘er from ya a long time ago.”  
  
“There’s really no need to worry about that,” he reassured his friend as he watched the two start to coo at each other. It was sickening, honestly. He stood up. “I’m just gonna use the restroom. Be right back.”

* * *

And that was how he’d ended up where he was now, outside, with no idea where his friends were, having to pay for everything before he called Finn. Judy so owed him for this one, those two had racked up quite the tab. Nick leaned against the wall as he waited for his friend to show, trying to get a hold of both Judy and Gideon via cellphone. But both of their phones were going straight to voicemail, which couldn’t be a good sign.  
  
He tried to push what Finnick had suggested about them out of his mind. That really wasn’t something he wanted to think about right now…not to mention there was no way of telling if the fennec was wrong or right.   
  
“…iiiiick! Nick!”  
  
His ears pricked and he turned his head to see Judy stumbling down the sidewalk towards him, Gideon and…was that Clawhauser with them? Dressed like one of Gazelle’s back-up dancers? What the what??  
  
“Niiiiiiick!” The bunny threw herself at him and he was quick to catch her so she wouldn’t fall. She looked up at him, violet eyes glazed over and unfocused as a huge grin parted her lips. “Where did you go??”  
  
  
“Where did I—? You guys are the ones who left, do you know how worried about you I was?” He gave her a stern look, hooking his paws behind her back to keep her from falling. “You can’t just walk out like that when you’re drunk, Carrots, we’ve talked about that.”  
  
“Oops~ Sorry~” The bunny giggled and nuzzled her head against his chest, to which he just sighed and patted her head. “Gid thought he saw he saw Benny here outside and I wanted to see if he was right. Right, Gid?”  
  
“Yes’um!” The fox just grinned as he watched them, being held up himself by Clawhauser who just gave Nick an understanding smile. At least someone was willing to help him.  
  
“Oh, oh, Nick! Benny said he was just about to go to karaoke! I wanna go with him! Will you come with us, pleeeeaaaaaaase?” She looked up at him with those big eyes, lips pouted and ears hanging down her back. Ugh, damn her, she knew he couldn’t resist her when she was like this.  
  
“I dunno, fluff, I think it might be time to get you back home.” He was not drunk enough for this.  
  
“They serve alcohol at the karaoke club,” Clawhauser piped in.  
  
On second thought, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all. “You know, the night’s still young, how about we all go with you, Benny boy?”  
  
Judy squealed and Gideon let out a hearty laugh, and as they all stumbled to the club Nick decided that maybe the night wasn’t going as badly as he had thought.

* * *

Hours later when the three of them were stumbling up the stairs to Judy’s apartment Nick was one hundred percent sure that the night had been fantastic. They had all yodeled horribly to some of Gazelle’s songs that were in Spanish, effectively making the staff cringe and pissing off the patrons. He’d kept ordering drinks until he was absolutely wasted and able to keep up with the other two. Clawhauser had been the one to call it a night, being the designated driver and driving them to the Grand Pangolin Arms.  
  
Getting up the stairs was a challenge, with Judy whining about her feet and Gideon laughing every time he tripped and Nick just being no help at all. By the time they made it to her room they were all giggling, which only got worse when Judy dropped her keys then struggled to get it in the doorknob.  
  
They all stumbled into the room, slamming the door shut behind them and collapsing onto her tiny bed laughing. “Shh, shhh, we’re gonna wake my neighbors,” Judy whispered loudly.  
  
“Too late, we’ve been awake.”  
  
“Yeah, we could hear you guys from down the hall.”  
  
“Pretty sure everyone in the building could hear you.”  
  
“Aw, keep it down, fellas,” Gideon yipped before snorting and rolling onto his stomach, curling around Judy. “We’re tryin’ ta sleep.”  
  
“What he said,” Nick jerked his thumb at the other fox before remembering that no one could see him, which just made him laugh again.  
  
“Oh god, she’s got two of them in there.”  
  
“I didn’t know the bunny was into threesomes.”  
  
“Oh, god, dude, that’s so gross! They’re both foxes!”  
  
“And this surprises you?? I mean, she clearly has a type!”  
  
“Oh, shut up!”  
  
“No, YOU shut up!”  
  
“NO, YOU SHUT UP!”  
  
“Both o’ you shut up before I lock up yer asses for public disturbance!” Judy yelled, slamming her paw on the wall before collapsing back into her back. She reached over to grab Gideon’s paw and wrapped it around herself then reached over to grab Nick’s paw, pulling him closer to her. He could see her eyes shining in the dark. “So! Aren’t you glad you came with us?”  
  
“Ask me in the morning after I get over the hangover I know is coming,” he quipped as he grabbed a pillow and tucked it under his head.  
  
As her laugh echoed in the tiny room he knew that he would be dragged into the next bar crawl, and he knew that every time he would go willingly. He loved these two dorks, and he was happy to be such a big part of their lives.  
  
His last thought before he fell asleep was, _I should probably text Finn to let him know what happened…eh, fuck it, it can wait ‘till morning…_

**Author's Note:**

> go visit alandcapon on his tumblr, his fanart is absolutely amazing. and come visit me at mama-sally.tumblr.com if you'd like to talk about these three as a trio or about wildehopps or greyhopps (I ship both equally, just in this scenario greyhopps won). anywho I hope you guys are having a good night/day/morning/afternoon/whatever!


End file.
